Finding the right trousers is a difficult task, especially for males. Most men don't particularly like going clothes shopping anyway and shopping for trousers is a total ball ache. After sometime of not going trouser shopping it gets to that desperate stage where you only have one pair of jeans left. The other two identical pairs that you bought 6 years ago have suffered hideous deaths, and the most recent pair you have been wearing day and night are about to experience a similar fate. In fact, if you left it any later to buy a new pair, they would probably disintegrate of your legs into a pile of wee ridden fibers (or maybe that's just me).
So you begin your search. Firstly you have a look around at what everyone else is wearing so they can make up your mind for you, but most people are wearing jeans, in endless shades of blue
Your first mistake is going to TK MAX. You think they'll have thousands of pairs of trousers, but when you finally navigate your way through the maze of clothe ridden isles, you realise that you were right, there are thousands of trousers, and you have to go through every pair to find what you're looking for. As you begin sifting through the mess you remember another thing about TK MAX... everything is size 'XXXXXL Jesus Christ you're a fat bastard'. You look over and see another 2 guys that have braved the trouser task on that sunny Saturday afternoon, a sweat on their brow and blistered fingers.
You give up after half an hour and head to the changing rooms with the only two pairs that have your waist size.
The queue is obviously massive, it always is because the changing rooms are full of guys taking off their coats, putting down their iPods, taking their shoes off, getting annoyed that they have to buy these damn trousers, taking off their trousers, finding a place to put them, taking the new trousers off the hanger, putting them on, trying them with a belt because the waist is massive, taking them back off, debating weather to clip them back on the hanger but opting for the guy outside to do it for you, then realising when you look in the mirror that you've only gone and picked up a pair of flares.... fuck! You move on to the next pair sweating profusely, they only go up to your shins... Fuuuck! By this time you're so annoyed that you just walk out, and as you predicted your trousers fall into a heap of wee ridden fibers.
What we need is 'Trouser Land'. A shop dedicated to finding the easiest, least annoying way of buying new trousers. Trouser Land will only sell male trousers and only guys will be allowed in. You will leave your trousers in the trouser 'cloak' room and trade them for a pair of courtesy long-johns so you can stroll around the trousers store freely and try them on anywhere you want. 1 on 1 Personal shoppers will help you find the perfect pair for you, and measure your trouser size on entry. You will be directed to the area where every pair is guaranteed to fit you so there is no wasting time, all you have to do is find the pair you like. If this is all to much you can stand in the lobby and use the augmented reality mirror and try pairs of trousers on virtually.
Anything is possible at Trouser Land
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If anyone else has any great, medium or crap ideas then send them to reuben_leon@hotmail.co.uk and Ill whack them up.
There are 62 bricks of Lego for every person on the planet. That means over 400 billion pieces have been made since 1958. Approximately 19 billion lego elements are produced each year. 2.16 million are molded every hour, 36,000 every minute, and I probably have most of them in my attic. Lego is the one thing I could never get rid of, in a few years each block will be worth more than gold. You will have adverts on TV asking for people to trade their 'Lego for Cash'.
