Crammed like Sardines

Public transport in London is getting pretty ridiculous at the moment. People are forgetting who they are and their good old British politeness and replacing it with a dog eat dog mentality. In the old days a man would stand up for a lady (I'm talking 1930's) but now nobody is safe. Woman, children, old people with broken arms and legs, are literally rammed on the tubes with no remorse, and no thought about the consequences.

Usually I stand, but my legs were tired so I managed to get a seat the other day. I was sat people watching as I normally do, and a pregnant lady got on. I was sat there for about 10 minutes staring at her belly and asking myself questions like; what if her water breaks? Where is the most common place someone's water has broken? What does it feel like? Is it like Niagara Falls falling out of you? Or just like a bad case of diarehea? Where is the weirdest place anyone’s water has broken? Skydiving? Yoga class? Diving? Would you notice if your water broke while diving? And as these thoughts ran through my head a lady acknowledged her and gave up her seat. I was shocked at myself. Datch was sat next to me reading so he had an average excuse for not giving up his seat (even though reading and iPods have become a disconcerting barrier between people and face to face communication which I hate, and I am guilty of) but I had no excuse whatsoever, I had even been staring at her belly for the last 10 minutes. I told Datch and we felt equally disappointed in ourselves.

Anyway, with all this overcrowding taking place, it is probably the perfect time to advertise sardines on the tube carriage doors. We can now appreciate how they feel crammed in those tiny tins, although we're not dead and about to be eaten. But even the sardines can feel happy that they are not Japanese (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sW8QJQUQC-g) ... Crazy Japanese.

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If anyone else has any great, medium or crap ideas then send them to reuben_leon@hotmail.co.uk and Ill whack them up.